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  "No, I do not believe our loyal friends hunger for the flesh of such traitorous scum." She squeezed our shoulders again, then stood upright. "Daelis Goldtree and Katrin Sylleth, your punishment is incomplete. You will not be eaten today. You will be removed from this hive under the shadow of a quiet sleep, and you will be placed in the white cavern depths. You may be allowed to live if you find a surface path within the endless labyrinth. No toys have ever escaped, so do not expect to survive. We will be watching you from afar, so please, entertain us as you fail and die."

  "What of the slave child, Fathomless Mother? Shall we feed it to our loyal friends?" the second Jarrah asked. She made a sweeping gesture toward the crowd.

  The Varaku stomped twice and hissed. "Jarrrraahhhhh...."

  Fathomless Mother held her hands, palms down, over Yana's trembling head but didn't touch her. "No, Sister Forlorn. Take it to the white caverns with the failure and the criminal. They are willing to die for it, so let them." She turned toward the white robed Varaku to her left. "My friend, prepare the ritual drink."

  The Varaku nodded, its tentacles bobbing about its shoulders. "Yes, Jarrah. Yes, Fathomless Mother."

  Daelis reached to grab either my arm or Yana's, but Fathomless Mother knocked his hand away. "You will drink what is being prepared for you, or you will be eaten while still alive, one small piece at a time until there is nothing left of you but a beating heart and a screaming mouth."

  Daelis looked up at her and shook his head. "Why are you doing this to us?"

  Fathomless Mother crouched and cupped his chin in her gloved palm. "Oh, my child, how ignorant you are. You have both failed us, you have both wronged us, and now you will continue your fight to find the light of the sun, but you will fail and you will die. How lucky you are, though. None who have made it this far have been allowed to seek the surface with a companion. You will die with two people you claim to love. Is that not wonderful? In fact, I have a sublime epiphany. Sister Forlorn, I must speak with you about an acquisition following the Ritual of Sleep." She stroked Daelis's cheeks before touching her mask to his brow in what seemed to be a kiss. "Oh, my pretty toy, what fun we shall have watching you die."

  How? How would they watch us? I didn't think they'd been physically following us the entire time we've been down here, so there was no reason to believe they'd start now. That would be too risky for them, and too inconvenient. No, it was something else. The dwarftstone lanterns. Had to be. It's rumored that some dwarfstones are also seeing stones, so I'm betting that's how the Jarrah watch us. We're dependent on the light to survive, so it's not as if we can toss them into a ravine, but we'll have to be careful around the lights, maybe even cover them with something when they're not needed. But when would they not be needed? I'm certain some of the cave creatures only avoided attacking us because of the light. I still need to talk to Daelis about this suspicion so we can decide what to do.

  Three white-robed Varaku stood before us with obsidian goblets in their hands. Fathomless Mother and Sister Forlorn took the vessels and held them out toward the crowd.

  Fathomless Mother's voice rose above the echoing din. "Now they shall sleep. Now they shall travel to the white cavern depths."

  Stomp. "Sleep!" Stomp. "Sleep!"

  Yana wailed into my shoulder.

  "Shh, shh, shh," I said, rocking her gently. "Drink what they give you. We'll still be together when we wake. I love you, Yana."

  Daelis's hand found Yana's. I covered both of theirs with mine. Fear crept into my nerves. I anticipated a fight or an unavoidable death, not this.

  The chant became a clipped hum. The Jarrah tilted the goblets to our lips. First Yana and Daelis, then me. A thick liquid reminiscent of a fruited honey mead settled on my tongue, then melted into a more watery state before trickling down my throat.

  Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Hissssss.

  Yana wilted in my arms. Daelis slumped to the floor. I held on for just a moment longer, long enough to see the unrestrained fear in the faces of the chained Uldru who stood against the wall. The cavern turned gray, then black, then silent.

  I woke here some time later. I'm not sure how much time. Maybe a day, maybe two. I've dated this entry as 17 because it might as well be.

  This cavern looks as if it were bleached. White stone, white stalactites, and a small, milky spring pond. Alabaster snails cling to opalescent stones around the pond. White cavern depths, indeed.

  Yana is still asleep. I'm sure the drug will take longer to wear off for her since she is so much smaller than us. I'm keeping her close. Nothing is going to hurt her as long as I'm conscious, especially not the two white-robed mysteries huddled at the far side of the cave.

  Oh yes, the white robes. I have no idea what happened to us after we drank from the goblets. Somewhere along the way, our filthy, torn clothing was replaced by fresh, white woolen robes and gray woolen underclothes. I don't particularly want to know what kind of animal the wool came from, but at least these things are warmer than what we wore before.

  Our belongings were also returned to us, as well as some additional supplies. The alcohol bottle in my med kit has been refilled and the scissors were returned. There are packets of some sort of dense bread tucked into clean, folded squares of cloth. Daelis now has three daggers, including the obsidian one we took from the dead scout. I have my sword.

  "I think my legs work now. I have to get up and see what those things over there are. I'm not sure if they're dead or alive." Daelis struggles to his feet. His legs wobble, but he stays upright.

  "I think I'm still too numb to walk," I say. I stroke Yana's hair. "Take one of the knives with you. Just in case they're here to ambush."

  "I will, but I don't think they are. I think they're asleep."

  Daelis uses the walls and stalactites for support as he walks around the edge of the pond. He kneels next to the closest of the two figures and pushes back the robe's white hood. From here, the head looks to be adorned with a blend of dark blue hair and thin tentacles.

  Daelis looks toward me, his eyes narrowed. "Interesting. Looks somewhat like a Varaku, but not. Mouth is much smaller and it has hair. Narrow shoulders and small, pointed ears. Hybrid, maybe? It's unconscious. Hopefully Yana wakes before this thing does so we can ask her."

  He slowly stands, then stumbles the five steps to the other hunched figure. He carefully slides the hood off the figure's hair. Blond hair, fairly short and shaggy. The person's back is to me. I can't see the face.

  Daelis cringes as he touches the person's face. He looks up at me with tears in his eyes, tears I can see from all the way across the chamber.

  "Daelis?" I whisper.

  He holds his hands to his mouth and shakes his head. "No, no, no, this is all wrong."

  "Daelis, who is it?"

  "It's Shan."

  No.

  Day 17, part 2

  No, no, not Shan. Why? Why would they drag my Shan into this nightmare? He's a good boy. He's never been in trouble, not once. He studies hard, helps wherever he's needed, never says an unkind word to anyone. He's my shining light. He doesn't belong here.

  I've been sitting with him since a moment after Daelis said his name. He's still unconscious, but he looks pained. His face is ruddy and bruised. What did they do to him? Were they careless when they brought him here, or did he fight back? I hope he injured them. I taught him enough self-defense that he easily could have. He has the grace of an elf and the strength of a human, so he would have been a formidable swordsman if he'd chosen that path.

  Shan is dressed in the same hooded woolen robe the rest of us wear. His school satchel is at his side. I have already rifled through the main pocket. Crackers, dried fruit, a water bottle, pens and parchment. And the dagger I gave him when he started at the University. Good boy. I'm glad he carried it in spite of his initial insistence that it wasn't necessary. I didn't trust some of the scholars, who viewed Shan's existence as disdainful and his scholar position as unearned.

/>   Shan rolls toward me. His eyes are still closed, but I think the drug is starting to wear off. I stroke his fair hair while I look across the chamber for Daelis, who sits against the far wall with still-unconscious Yana on his lap.

  "I think he's coming out of it," I say. My voice is too loud in here. These white stones amplify sound even more than the plain gray stones of the earlier caves did. What is this horrid place?

  "What are you going to tell him?" Daelis asks. He adjusts Yana's position as best he can with one arm, and then kisses her hair.

  "I don't know. I need to figure that out now."

  Daelis smiles wearily. "Does he know you were a mercenary?"

  "Yes..."

  "Then let him read your journal. You intended for him to end up with it anyway, right? We're stuck here for at least another day while everyone gets their balance back, so he has time for it." Daelis taps the back of his head against the wall. He's doing a poor job hiding his pain. I'd give him more white willow bark, but I'm not willing to leave Shan's side right now and Daelis doesn't have a free hand to use to fish around in my rucksack.

  "That doesn't absolve you from explaining yourself to him."

  "I know." Daelis stares at the stalactites, then shakes his head and closes his eyes.

  Shan reaches toward me, but his hand drops before it touches my arm. I weave my fingers between his and lightly squeeze. "I'm here, Shan."

  "Mom?" Shan mumbles. His eyelids flutter open and then close again a moment later. "Where... I...?"

  "I'll tell you everything when you're more awake. Take it slow, or you'll have a biting headache." My tears fall onto his cheek. I'm sorry, Shan. You shouldn't be here. You should be home and safe with Tessen and your cousins. You don't deserve this. No one does.

  Day 17, part 3

  Shan began reading the journal while Daelis and I tended to slowly-waking Yana. He occasionally lifted his gaze to glare at Daelis, but otherwise kept his eyes fixed on the book.

  Yana cried out and whimpered, but kept her eyes tightly shut. Sweat beaded on her clammy forehead. I dabbed a damp cloth across her face and along her jawline.

  "She's so little. I think they overdosed her," Daelis said. His hands trembled as he took the cloth from me.

  "Likely. I think she'll be all right, but we need to give her time to recover." I twisted to the side so I could touch Shan's knee. He flinched but quickly relaxed. "How are you doing?"

  Shan closed the book on a slip of parchment, then leaned against me. "Confused. Sore. Exhausted. Mostly confused. I was in the library, and then I was here and I don't know what happened in between. I was supposed to go with Tessen and Arteo to see the bards on the square, but I don't think I made it out of the library. Mom, you were supposed to be home weeks ago, and I was angry that you weren't. Sorry about that. You were stuck here, so it's not like you ran away from us."

  "I'm so sorry you ended up in this mess. I'd never run away from you. You know that." I put my arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

  "I know, but some people would." Shan bent over his knees so he could scowl at Daelis. "So, Lord Goldtree, what am I supposed to call you now? I suspected something was up when you made such enormous efforts to get me admitted to the University despite having just met me. You're a real–”

  "Keep reading, Shan. When you're done, he's going to have a nice, long conversation with you."

  Yana's back arched as she loosed a gasping cough. I let go of Shan so I could help Daelis sit her upright. We transferred her from his lap to mine. It was better to have two hands available for her and he only had one fully usable arm.

  "Is she going to be okay?" Shan asked. "She's kind of my sister now, right?"

  "Yes. She's family now. The drug they gave us is strong, probably too strong for someone so small, but I think she's starting to wake up." I stood so I could pace around the chamber with Yana. I thought the movement might be comforting, and my legs were becoming too restless to stay seated any longer.

  "Watch out for snails," Shan said.

  "What?"

  "Snails. They're everywhere. Don't step on any. Remember when I stepped on that snail on the stoop and I cried? It made such a sickening crunch of a sound. Every time I thought about it for a while I cried. It still bothers me sometimes. Don't step on the snails, Mom. I can't read anymore right now. My head hurts." Shan handed me the journal, then scooted over until his shoulder brushed Daelis's. "Okay, she's busy with Yana so now is a good time for you to talk to me. First, though, what is that creature over there? Is it dead?"

  I'd forgotten about the robed Varaku-like creature. It hadn't moved since we first saw it. I watched its chest rise and fall several times before saying, "No, it isn't dead. I'm not sure who or what it is. We plan on asking Yana when she wakes up, if it doesn't wake first. I think it will still be asleep for a while longer."

  "I think he's a Varaku-Uldru hybrid. Or she. I'm not quite certain which yet," Daelis said. He rubbed his nose and tilted his head toward me. "I don't know which moment is going to be my last, so now is an excellent time for the Shan talk. Rin, do you mind not listening in for a bit? I feel like this is for the two of us alone."

  "I expected that. Go easy on him, Shan. He's trying. Finally." I carried Yana and the journal around the pool toward the unconscious creature. I watched the ground carefully as I walked. No snails. Never step on the snails.

  Day 18

  The Raxan is plucking snails from the rocks and eating them, shell and all. Raxan. Strange word. That's what Yana called her. Daelis was right—she's a Varaku-Uldru hybrid. She doesn't have a name because none of the Raxan do. They're the lowest of the hive slaves, barren creatures born of Uldru mothers following unspeakable violation, and they are considered abominations by both the Varaku and the Uldru. They are only kept alive because they are physically suited to tasks that neither the bulky Varaku nor the slight Uldru can accomplish.

  Yana fears the Raxan. She told us they are extremely intelligent, but they can easily be overpowered by the flesh hunger they inherited from their fathers. I'm not sure how much of Yana's explanation I can believe. She's a child who clings to the stories and fears of the young.

  The Raxan stops eating snails long enough to look over at me. Sadness touches her large, luminescent blue eyes. She bows her head slightly and returns to the snails. She hasn't said a word since she woke. I don't know if she can speak at all. I have a feeling she isn't malevolent, but I can't always trust my hunches.

  "We need to give her a name," Shan says. He's sitting with Yana. They've already bonded and he occasionally calls her little sister. A few minutes ago, he told her he's always wanted a sister and she replied that now he has one. I want to hug them both, but I'm busy gathering what I need to tend to Daelis's shoulder. Shan stands and shrugs at me. "I'm going to talk to her."

  "Be careful." Oh, my kind-hearted boy... I hope your wonderful soul doesn't get you killed down here. I'd carry that guilt into the afterlife. It's likely my fault that you're here, after all.

  Shan slowly approaches the Raxan. He whispers to her but I can't hear what he's saying. Her wide mouth moves as she whispers back. So, she can speak.

  "He hates me," Daelis mumbles, startling me. "He made that quite clear. I don't blame him. I deserve it."

  "Give him a little time. I know my son well, and he's never held a grudge for more than a few days, a week at most. He's quick to forgive and move on."

  "No, he has a right to it. I could have attempted to reconcile with you and acknowledge him at any point over the last seventeen years, and I didn't. I failed him and I failed you. I failed at being a decent person."

  "Stop. I'm tired of you feeling sorry for yourself. He'll get over your immaturity and so will you. Now let me see your shoulder."

  Yana distracts Daelis with a blizzard of bubbles while I slide his robe off his back and arm. His shoulder is far more discolored than it was the last time I looked at it, but the wound itself looks clean.

  "How many
of those willow bark capsules do we have left?" Daelis asks through gritted teeth.

  "Two. Maybe Shan has more. He uses them for his headaches." I gently clean around the wound. Daelis's muscles twitch under my hand. "Sorry, I'm trying not to hurt you more than necessary. You're so bruised. That's new. I think the Jarrah must have been rough dragging you down here. I've got a few new bruises of my own."

  He gasps and rolls his chin down to his chest. "You must think I'm weak."

  I kiss the back of his neck. "No, I don't."

  Why did I do that? I don't know. Impulsive, too impulsive.

  Shan returns to us, but the Raxan remains as far away as she can manage and still be in the white chamber. He cringes at Daelis's bare shoulder. "That's ugly. No wonder you look so... so agonized." He reaches into a side pocket of his satchel and pulls out a leather-wrapped packet. He hands it to Daelis. "Here. White willow. Don't use it all in case I get a headache or something."

  "Thank you, Shan," I say. I help Daelis put his robe back on. "Did the Raxan talk to you?"

  Shan rubs his eyes. He's still sleepy and a little unsteady on his feet. "Yeah, so she's shy but nice. She was exiled because she spoke without permission and refused an order. She was supposed to be executed, but her punishment coincided with us being put here, so she was thrown in with us instead. She's afraid of you guys, so I told her we'd hang out over here until she's ready to join us. She's never had any sort of name, so I decided to call her Cinda. Like the star in the Arrow constellation."