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  The room we're in has three orc-sized cots, but we pushed them together so we could stay close. Yana is terrified and needs to be held or she'll wake. She'd cuddled up with Daelis now, but she was with Shan earlier. I think she'll settle down once she figures out that the outside world is somewhat less scary than the underground. Sure, there are still predators, but its easier to avoid them when you can see across larger distances.

  I don't know how long it will take her to adjust. She's so young that I think she'll do well in the long term, but these first couple of months are going to be difficult. We'll be patient with her as she transitions, even if she does it slowly over the course of many years. We need to get her home to Jadeshire so she can have a calm and stable environment.

  Will it be? I hope so. I'll need to confront a couple people first, but then I think we'll settle into a lovely state of jaded normality. Which then, of course, will be interrupted by the arrival of the child I carry. I wonder when that will be. I have no idea how much time has passed, My guess is months rather than weeks. I hope to get a better idea tomorrow.

  I'm so tired. I suppose I ought to try to sleep. Fresh air and a cushioned cot are calling to me. Sleep first, then figure out the next steps tomorrow. One moment at a time, and remember to be patient. With yourself as well as with your family.

  Day 148 (41)

  Yes, you're reading that correctly. 148. No, I didn't lose the journal or put it away for months. We've only been in Sungate since last night. It has been one hundred and forty-eight days since I was taken from Greeble. I knew my time perception was off, but I felt like we were more around day 80. Not 148. Cave time is lost time, five months of lost time. Five months without home, without sunlight, without safety, without Tessen and my sister and parents.

  Where did my missing time go? Every nap must have been a full night of sleep, and every long sleep could have lasted a day. Perhaps underground time slowed further when we were in the Varaku hive and Aes. Maybe my time perception came to a halt entirely in the waterfall cavern.

  Knowing the date made it less confusing when Frald's midwife told me I was between eight and ten weeks along. My journal timeline says I've been missing just under six weeks, when in fact I've been gone for twenty-one. I would have wondered who in the world I'd forgotten I'd slept with if I hadn't already found out I'd skipped from summer to winter.

  I wonder how long it will take my perception to return to real time. Today doesn't feel any longer or shorter than a normal day, but I didn't wake until mid-afternoon so my judgment is useless. I likely would have slept for longer if Frald hadn't come into the room with food and a small team of medical staff.

  After bowls of hearty stew, we were stripped of our clothes, scrubbed clean in mineral water baths, and returned to the beds, which had been rearranged behind partitions. Yana stayed with me the entire time but the other two were on their own. The lighting was kept low, but it was still brighter than the caves and Yana squinted and whimpered every time the orcs brought a lamp close. An apprentice healer named Lark promised to find her a pair of dark goggles so she could go outside without being blinded. Lark told me he wasn't certain if Yana would ever be able to withstand daylight without wearing something to shield her eyes.

  Frald didn't come to my side of the partition until after she attended to Daelis and Shan. She assessed Yana first, then turned her attention to me while Lark helped Yana pull a hooded tunic over her head.

  Frald ran her calloused fingers along the scar on my thigh, the one I'd been left with after the fall near Aes. "Well, you're thin and bruised, but you're overall in good condition. Couple of fresh scars to add to the whole host that make up your history. Your elf looks like he'd never seen combat before this little adventure of yours. Typical elf, eh?"

  "You should see him throw a knife. He's brilliant at it," I said. Yana climbed onto my lap and buried her face in my shoulder. I kissed her hair and smiled at Frald. "He's not so typical, but you already know that. The whole shared ancestry bit. What's your assessment of his health?"

  Frald handed me a cup of water and shrugged her broad shoulders. "Permanent nerve damage in that left arm is the worst of it. Broken bones and bruises will heal. Stubborn thing, isn't he? I told him to get back into bed. What did he do instead? He slipped out the door."

  "What? Where did he go?"

  "He wanted to speak with our clan magistrate. Shan went with him. Your mate is an odd creature, even for an elf." Frald smoothed Yana's hair. "Your little girl looks like she had a difficult start in life, but she's healthy now. Certainly a touch malnourished, but that will fade. I'd almost mistake her for some sort of half-elf if not for her coloring and those huge eyes of hers. Your son is fine. Just needs a little time to recover from the effects of the cave sickness. Strong boy, and a skilled swordsman from what I saw yesterday. I take it you trained him?"

  I shivered and pulled a blanket over my legs. The air was warm, but I was still chilled from the bath. "I did. I taught my children swordsmanship from an early age. Valuable skill even though they never intended to be fighters. Daelis was teaching Yana to throw, at least until his knives and daggers were lost to the cave collapse."

  "Your children are lucky to have honorable parents," Frald said. She handed me a clean tunic. "The innkeeper has set up rooms for your family so you won't be stuck here. Good beds, decent food, heavy curtains to keep out the sunlight. Stay there for a couple days while you find your bearings, and then we can round you up a few horses and send you off to home. A couple of our traders have business in Coldtower and they'll be happy to escort you that far. We're done here and the sun set an hour ago, so get dressed and I'll take you over to the inn."

  Day 148, part 2

  This chair is the most comfortable thing I've ever sat upon. I'm sinking into it and it holds me like a plush embrace. Other humans may disagree with me, but I think orcan furniture is the best of any furniture in the realms. Maybe I can get Daelis to negotiate having a chair shipped to Jadeshire for me. Add that to the list of things he needs to do before he is disowned and loses both his influence and his inheritance. Recall my brother Elsin from his exile in the North. Acquire a case of lingonberry jam. Buy Rin an orcan armchair. Preferably with a furry poof of a footstool like the one I've got my heels propped on now, but I can do without if that's not possible. After all, shipping and tariffs on these things have got to be expensive.

  I hope Shan and Daelis come back soon. Yana is getting anxious. She's flitting between her bed, the window, and my lap, never staying in one place more than a minute. Now she's in the adjoining room, writing her name over and over on a loose sheet of paper. I hope this phase of her transition passes quickly. She can't be with all of us all of the time.

  "Yana, they'll be back soon. Nothing will happen to them," I say. I wait for her to look at me, then pat my thigh. "Come sit with me."

  Yana shakes her head. "The Jarrah will come. We are toys and we broke their game. They will find us. They will eat us. Stars is cold and no help. This world is too big with too much sky."

  "Yana, I won't let the Jarrah hurt us. The Foxfire orcs are keeping us safe right now and I will keep us safe when we leave Sungate. I won't–"

  The door creaks open and Shan enters. He holds two flowers in his left hand. One is a violet-edged desert lily and the other is an orange and red poppy. He hands the lily to me and gives the poppy to Yana, who regards it with suspicion. "It's not food, Yana. Just something pretty to look at. Sorry we took so long. Dad wanted to be sure we have a statement on record in case... in case anything happens. And then I had to sit around and wait while he and the magistrate went over some legal junk in a law book so they could verify that a contract signed and witnessed here has standing in the Jade Realm."

  "What contract?" I ask.

  Daelis is in the doorway. He's slight and frail next to the elderly orc who follows him into the room. The freshly-written document he hands me still smells of ink. "Marriage. I figured the orcs wouldn't give us any
difficulties due to us being different races. Magistrates and vicars to the west would be more of an issue, especially if we wait until Jadeshire and have to deal with my father's people. Rin, I'm not obligating you to sign this if you don't want to. I just... I just wanted to show you that I'm sincere about never leaving you again."

  I scrawl my name on the appropriate line and pass the document back to him. "I told you I would, so don't look so surprised. We should've done this seventeen years ago. Or is it eighteen now? I think it must be eighteen." I stand to embrace him. "I signed it, so what now?"

  "Come outside," Daelis says with a grin that makes him look two decades younger, and far less pained and burdened. "We have Frald and Lark and another witness or two. Magistrate Orok here will give us a couple vows to say, and then it will be done. We'll be married, and it's official and binding in every realm that matters."

  "Come on, Yana. Outside!" Shan chirps. He picks up Yana and carries her out the door.

  No fancy wedding dress or party for me, but I don't care. This impromptu orcan ceremony conducted under a desert night is more my style.

  Day 149

  Before this nightmare began, I never expected to wake up married to anyone, especially not Daelis Goldtree. And yet, here I am, sitting next to him while two of our children sleep in the next room over. My first and last love is now my husband. This feels like another battle won in our war against the Jarrah. Not only did we survive every horror of the caves, but we survived our initial distrust of each other. I transitioned from contemplating killing him in his sleep to never wanting to spend another night away from him.

  Daelis isn't asleep now, but his eyes are closed. He's on his back with his right hand on my belly. It's an awkward position, but he doesn't have many options while he can't lie on his left side. He can't put pressure on his shoulder, and fractured ribs aren't quick to heal since they're in continuous motion.

  "I'm sorry," Daelis says. He looks up at me with glistening eyes. His irises are turquoise in this light instead of the dulled gray they appeared underground. Beautiful eyes, even with the lingering redness from the broken capillaries. I'm glad Shan inherited them.

  "What for?"

  "For not marrying you when I should have." He closes his eyes again and the beginning of a smile tugs at the corners of his lips. He tilts his head until his temple touches my hip and says, "Doesn't matter now, does it? If our past had been different, you wouldn't have had Tessen or Alon. I don't think you would have even found Yana because the Jarrah wouldn't have had much of a reason to target you if I hadn't pushed you into a life of notoriety. Oh, by the way, I drew up some documents earlier, while you were still asleep. Official adoption papers for Yana. We just need to sign them, preferably with her signed consent, and file a copy with the magistrate like we did with the marriage contract. They also give guardianship to Shan if anything happens to the both of us, and if something were to happen to all three of us, she'll go to your sister and Tessen. Do you think that works?"

  Daelis the lawyer is back. I suppose I can live with that, especially since he's using his skills to keep Yana safe. Given our circumstances, it's reasonable to document everything, especially Yana's guardianship chain.

  "Yes. Thank you." I stroke his hair as I watch the light shift across the shaded window. It's early evening again. I believe we've become nocturnal. That may be a good thing for us while our eyes reacclimate to daylight. "I'm not sure what Tessen would think about becoming a guardian to a strange little girl he's never met. I'm not sure what he's going to think of any of this. Of my return. Of you. Of gaining new siblings. He's prone to jealousy. I saw it when I brought Ragan home and even more when Alon was born. It faded eventually, but I always felt like he held onto a touch of resentment... right up until Alon died and Ragan left, and then he was heartbroken."

  "He's older now, so I think that will help," Daelis says. He pulls my hand to his lips so he can kiss it. "He's sixteen, right?"

  "Yes. A year and three days younger than Shan. He's the same age I was when you got me pregnant. That makes me wonder what I was thinking, because he's still a kid. So were we. You elves are so damned slow to mature."

  "I'm getting there," he says with a smirk. He gazes at me, blithe inscribed in his blue-green eyes. "I love you so much. I want to sit up and kiss you, but it would take ten minutes of pain to figure out how. Oh, wait. I know."

  He slides off the side of the bed and stands upright.

  A shriek fills the air, chased by a murmuring din. Daelis pushes the curtains aside and looks out the window.

  "What is it?" I ask.

  He turns toward me, his mirth replaced by concern. "Orcs in the street. Dragons above. They're perched on the cliffs, three of them. Backlit by the setting sun, so I can't see what kind they are, but I can see the silhouettes of their riders." He grabs his tunic off the arm of the chair. "Help me get this on and then we need to wake the children. I think the Jarrah have found us."

  Day 149, part 2

  Our children were gone.

  Yana's opals sat on the bed next to Shan's sword, but the satchel was gone. We thought maybe Shan took Yana to hide, but they were not in the wardrobe, nor in the hallway broom closet.

  "Maybe they went outside to see what was going on," Daelis said, but the tone of his voice told me he didn't believe his own words.

  "No, Yana is too frightened to leave the room, and Shan wouldn't have done that. He wouldn't have taken the eggs and left his sword," I said. My heart raced and my breaths became strident. I already knew what had happened, but I was afraid to find out how far it had gone. I had to stay calm. I couldn't help them if I was panicked. "Can you throw?"

  "Maybe. My balance is off," Daelis said. He rushed me into kitchen, where he grabbed a rolled knife bag off the counter.

  Weapons secured, we left the inn.

  A great, flame-colored dragon sat at the edge of the river. Maimed—and possibly dead—orcs were scattered about her feet. Before the dragon stood three Jarrah, different Jarrah from the ones who remained up on the bluffs with their dragons. They circled around a central figure. No, not one. Two. Shan sat cross-legged on the ground with Yana held tightly on his lap.

  Daelis tossed a knife at the closest Jarrah. It missed and planted in the ground. The Jarrah didn't seem to notice the attempt.

  "No, don't do that," I said. I grabbed his wrist before he could choose a second knife. "Your aim is off and you could hit them."

  The shortest of the three Jarrah took a step toward us. She cradled a golden dragon egg in each of her arms. As she spoke, I imagined a sneer behind her black and white mask. "Your half-breed bastard has acquired some interesting eggs. I do not recognize this species. What are they, Daelis?"

  "I'm not telling you," Daelis said. He extended his arm, knife firmly held and directed toward the Jarrah's throat. "I recognize your voice. You were the one from the Varaku hive. Sister Forlorn, right? Why don't you tell me who you really are so I know who to send your remains home to?"

  Sister Forlorn passed the eggs off to one of the others, who returned them to Shan's satchel. She clicked her tongue as she took one step closer to us, then another. "You were supposed to die in the underground. All but one. Him." She pointed a gloved finger at Shan. "Fathomless Mother says he has potential. She said the old magics that skipped past you are being revealed in him. He is to become one of our order."

  "The hell I am!" Shan gasped as the Jarrah to his left kicked his ribs.

  "Brother Sorrow," Sister Forlorn admonished, her hand held toward him in a gesture of protest. "We were told not to harm the younglings. Fathomless Mother wishes to train the half-blood herself and she believes the mage-slave child may be useful. We must return them to her unharmed so she can break them herself." She tilted her head toward us. "Kill the parents. They have outlived their entertainment value."

  "No!" Yana screamed. A knife appeared from inside her sleeve, and a quick flick of the wrist planted it up to the handle between Sister Forlorn
's shoulders.

  Sister Forlorn staggered, but remained standing. "Take them!" she shrieked to the others. "Take them to Fathomless Mother. I'll deal with the disappointments."

  The other two Jarrah yanked Shan and Yana to their feet. Before I could rush for them, all four vanished into a cloud of blue vapor. The flame dragon rose into the sky and the dragons on the bluffs took flight to join her. Orcan archers shot at them, but they were too high to reach with simple arrows. The dragons hovered above the canyon for a moment before heading into the sunset.

  Sister Forlorn held out her hands. Energy crackled between her palms. "I'm so glad to be done with you two. I told her in Vetarex that this had already gone on too long, but she wanted to keep playing with her toys. I don't understand why. She never liked playing with you before the underground."

  This time, Daelis's throw was true. His knife found a mark a finger width to the left of Sister Forlorn's sternum. A dark stain spread across the breast of her crimson robe. She dropped to her knees, her hands shaking violently as the crackling energy evaporated.

  "Well, I've had about enough of you," I said. I yanked the knife from her chest and the blood trickle became a waterfall. "You took my children from me. I'm going to get them back, but first, I'm going to watch you die." I circled to her back. I had to plant my foot in her spine to gain enough leverage to remove the knife Yana had thrown. My little girl was developing quite a talent.

  "They're lost to you, and so are your lives," Sister Forlorn said. She spat blood upon the red dust earth.

  "You ought to know by now that we don't die easily," I said. I eased Sister Forlorn's hood back to reveal black hair.