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  One less secret and I feel lighter. Time to move stones. Let's hope the fragile ceiling holds as securely as my determination that my children survive the caves and step into the starlight. All of my children.

  Day 34

  We've been digging for what feels like a day. The stable space we've created is small, so Shan passes the larger stones back to me and Yana piles the smaller ones near the ravine while using her opal to give us extra light. Daelis seems to have resigned himself to rescue. He's said little other than offering me the occasional—and increasingly strange—name suggestion. Neither Cascade nor Onion are going to make it onto our final list. I think he's trying to be funny, but he sounds too distraught for me to find his attempts humorous.

  I'm taking a short break now while Shan continues. I'm ravenous, but I can't ration enough to ease my hunger. This child is resilient so far. Half-elven babies and children are known to be robust, but this one is surviving through trauma, deprivation, and stress. I don't want to lose it. I want to feel it grow and kick. I want it to come into the world healthy and screaming. And above ground. I'm certain now that we've already been down here for months and I can't bear the thought of being trapped here long enough to give birth. The need to escape is more urgent than ever.

  I love this child already. It's strange to love someone you've never met, and never even seen. I'm in love with a mystery, one I know next to nothing about. Half-elf with light eyes, that's guaranteed. Hair could be light or dark, straight or curly. It could be a boy or a girl, and I've never been one of those women who claims a feeling of one sex or another before birth. I wonder how much it will look like big brother Shan, or if they will have similar personalities. This one has already proven itself to be a strong little warrior, so perhaps it will take after me instead of Daelis. Well, that doesn't give Daelis enough credit for his tenacity. He is more than worthy of being called strong.

  I'm almost done pretending this wilted radish and chunk of stringy not-sheep jerky is a feast. I'll switch with Shan so he can rest his arms and eat.

  "Mom?" Shan calls as he crawls backward out of the tunnel we created. "Mom, I found him. I need help. I know... now I know why he wanted us to leave him behind."

  Day 34, part 2

  Daelis's hand was visible, but the rest of him wasn't. His forearm disappeared into a layer of silt and debris. I touched his fingers. They were warm, but he gave no response. I knew he wasn't asleep. He'd spoken to us only a few minutes earlier.

  "Daelis, can you see the light?" I asked.

  "Yes. I can see your eyes. I still don't think you can get me out safely. Please go."

  I passed a large rock back to Shan. Daelis stared at me from the darkness. He was just to the right of the path Shan and I had cleared. The whites of his eyes were red with blood, and his swollen face was mottled by bruises beneath a thick layer of dust. I shifted the lantern so I could see him better. He was on his back beneath a large shale slab. The stone was less than a handspan above him in some places, though it was higher above his face. His left arm was caught under several stones, but I didn't think they were heavy enough to cause crush injuries. I wondered why he hadn't moved them away himself.

  "It keeps getting lower," Daelis said. He coughed and his right hand appeared out of the darkness to rest on his sternum. He winced for several seconds before continuing. "It used to be high enough that I didn't feel it if I reached straight up. Every quake brings it lower. I can't move my legs without bumping it now."

  I started clearing the debris away from his left arm. I still hadn't seen his fingers move. "I think we can pull you out. Hold on while I clear the way. Dae... can you feel your left hand?"

  "No. Something slammed into my shoulder and I've been numb from the collarbone down since. Only on that side. Rin, if the ground shakes again, we'll both be crushed."

  "I'm not letting you die like this," I said. I bent so I could reach into the cavity and touch his face. He closed his eyes and a tear stained a line of mud on his cheek. "I'm not letting you die at all. Shan, help me dig near my elbow so we have room. Mind that section of gritty rock. It's not stable but it's supporting some of the larger stones."

  We carefully and anxiously began the process of digging out Daelis. Every distant rumble was a terror, but the slate slab held. We made an arc behind Daelis's head to give clearance to pull him out, then dug slightly underneath him to expose his shoulders.

  "Mom, let me grab him. My arms are longer than yours and I don't have a bad leg that I'd need to balance on," Shan said.

  I nodded at him. I didn't want to risk my son's life, but his point was valid. Shan was more physically suited to the task than I was. "Be careful. Try to pull him back in one smooth motion so you don't agitate the rocks."

  Shan and I backed out of the path so we could switch places. Shan went back in and counted to three. I held my breath and Yana's hand as Shan dragged Daelis into the chamber. They were safe. Alive and uncrushed. Shan set Daelis in the middle of the floor and ducked back in for a moment to grab the lantern.

  I dropped to my knees and kissed Daelis's dusty, bloodied lips. "See. I told you we'd get you out. No horrible death by crushing for you today, my love." I beckoned to the children. "Shan, bring the lantern closer and help me get him undressed. Carefully. We need to figure out what's going on. Yana, please bring me that blanket to put under his head and the med kit from the rucksack."

  Daelis smiled wearily as he reached up to caress my cheek. "You're amazing. I didn't think I'd get to see you again. You keep giving me chances that I'm not sure I deserve."

  I leaned close to his ear. "You deserve to be alive and happy. And loved. I love you and I won't stop fighting for you. I need to sit you up now so I can evaluate your injuries."

  Shan helped me ease Daelis upright, then retrieved a cup of water from beneath a dripping wall. Yana was still rummaging in my rucksack. We unfastened the front of Daelis's robe and eased it off his shoulders. His left arm stayed limp at his side. It was quickly apparent why.

  He had other injuries to assess, but this one needed to be taken care of first. "Dae, your shoulder is dislocated. I think you've damaged, possibly even severed the nerves, which is why you can't move your arm."

  "Will it heal?" Daelis asked.

  "I don't know. You might regain partial function in this arm or it might not heal at all," I admitted. I stroked his filthy hair as my heart rate rose. "Try not to worry about it right now. An arm is better than a leg. I need to put the joint back into place and then I'll wrap it tight to your chest to immobilize it."

  Shan touched my wrist. "Um, Mom? Have you done this before?"

  I hoped the look I gave him was more reassuring than worried. "Yes. Mordegan sent all of his hired swords to field medic training. Where do you think I learned how to suture? I had to reset Ragan's shoulder once after his horse threw him. Remember that? He had to wear a sling for two or three months. Faeline are larger and heavier than elves, so it shouldn't be as much of a struggle to fix Daelis's arm. Still... same shoulder you took the hook through... I'd tell you this will hurt, but I don't think you'll feel much of it. Maybe some pain in your back and underarm."

  "Do it quickly," Daelis said.

  I bent his arm at the elbow, then rotated it outward, then upward. It took some gentle force, but the joint did slip back into place. Much easier than the reduction I did on Ragan, who had full feeling in his arm and weighed easily twice what Daelis does.

  Daelis slumped forward.

  Shan caught him before he hit his knees. "Dad? You okay?"

  "He fainted," I said. I grabbed a length of fabric and wrapped Daelis's limp arm to his chest. "It's normal. Let's lay him down. Yana, did you find everything?"

  "Yes. I not like seeing Daelis hurt. Will he die?" Yana asked, a quaver in her voice. She handed me the med kit. The addition of the supplies the Hycinth gave us made it significantly heavier than it used to be.

  "No, sweet girl, he won't die. Not today."

  "Good
. I love him," Yana said. She knelt next to me and started dabbing at Daelis's dust-covered face with a damp cloth.

  "So do I," I said.

  Daelis opened his eyes and blinked several times. "Sorry, everything turned black. Is it finished?"

  "Yes. Try to relax. I'm going to look over the rest of you to make sure there isn't anything else that needs to be treated immediately."

  I opened the med kit. The Hycinth had given us several colorful glass bottles. One of the historians had labeled them, but only with their purpose, not instructions. For Nausea. For Swelling. For Injury. For Bleeding. For Infection. I wasn't sure what For Injury meant. Pain? It was most likely a painkiller. I opened the bottle and a vanilla-like scent wafted out. I remembered that scent from when my leg was healing. I'd give him just a spoonful to start with to see how he tolerated it.

  "That tastes like orange cream," Daelis said as he swallowed the potion. I held a water bottle to his lips.

  "I know. It's the same thing they gave me in Aes. It will make you sleepy." I walked my fingers down his bruised ribcage. He flinched at regular intervals. "I think you have two, maybe three fractured ribs. Your nose is broken, but it doesn't look like it needs resetting. You've got some nice bruising on your legs, but no major injuries there. You're covered in bruises and abrasions, but nothing needs to be stitched. If you had internal injuries, you'd be in a lot worse shape right now, so believe it or not, you're lucky."

  "Of course I am. I have you," Daelis said. He tilted his head toward Shan. "And you, Shan. Thank you. For talking to me while I was in there. You're wonderful and I'm so glad I've finally gotten to know you."

  Shan kissed Daelis's forehead. "I love you, Dad. Don't you dare try dying again, okay?"

  A tremendous crack shook the ground beneath us and a dust cloud rushed into the chamber. Yana shrieked and clung to me. The rock fall shifted to fill in the gap left by the broken slate slab.

  "Well, that would have been the end of me," Daelis said after a pained coughing fit. Tears ran from his blood-stained eyes. "That was completely reckless of all of you and I don't want you to do anything like that for me again, but thank you. Rin, whatever you gave me is taking effect quickly. I hurt everywhere, but I can't stay awake anymore."

  I wiped the last of the blood and dust from his lips before kissing him. "We're all tired, but now we're together. You were brave to confront that like you did, and now it's time for you to start healing."

  He was asleep, and Shan and Yana soon followed. I don't feel safe staying in this potentially unstable chamber, but we can't move into the tunnel until Daelis wakes. He should be able to walk without issue, but he won't be able to brace himself with both hands if he falls. His satchel is lost to the rubble, so he no longer has his knives. I'm not sure what else he carried aside from food and water.

  I want to lie down and hold him, but I'm afraid I'll hurt him. I'll lay close instead and revel in the sound of his breaths. He's battered and broken, but he's alive.

  I'm a little afraid to sleep, but I need to. It feels like days since I last rested. My writing is becoming illegible. It's okay, Rin, we're all together again. Sleep.

  Day 35

  We shifted in the night and I woke on my left side with Yana's head on my hip, Shan snuggled against my shoulders, and Daelis's right hand on my belly. He was on his back looking upward. The diffuse lantern light highlighted the extensive bruising on his face. I untangled my arm from Yana's so I could rest it on his uninjured shoulder.

  Daelis flinched, then winced. I thought I was hurting him so I withdrew my hand. He turned his head toward me and said, "No, don't go away. It's these ribs. I'm feeling them more now that I'm not braced by a rock."

  I returned my hand to his shoulder. "Do you want more of the Hycinth medication? I think I can reach it without waking the kids."

  "No. I don't want to sleep right now. I'm afraid of this place. We need to move once the children wake. The walls aren't stable and urgency has become even more important." Daelis rubs my belly and flashes a pained smile. "I wanted to have another child with you, but not down here. Don't take that statement to mean I'm not happy about it, because I am."

  "I understand the feeling." I reached down so I could hold his hand. "This is a terrible place for a baby. It's a terrible place for anyone. I suppose I'm lucky I've had easy pregnancies relative to some other women I know. It gets difficult toward the end, but we'll be out of here well before then."

  "I hope so."

  "We will. Listen, I know you want to be protective of me, but I can't let you. You're in no shape to protect anyone. I'm perfectly capable of swinging a sword, so let me. I've trained Shan well, so he will help. We don't have your knives anymore, otherwise I'd pass them to Yana. Let us take care of you for now."

  "I feel like we're alternating who gets hurt," Daelis said. He lifted his hand from me so he could touch Yana's hair. "I'll keep it all for myself this time. I don't want you or our children to suffer a single injury."

  "I'll do my best to ensure we don't." I stroked an unbruised section of his jaw. "You're a strange elf, Daelis. I've never seen one withstand so much pain without fading. Most shut down and retreat into their own minds through the worst of it."

  "I can't. That is a selfish reflex I don't need to fight. I don't feel it when I have you."

  Shan shifted against my shoulders, then sat upright. "Hey, guys... I don't mean to interrupt you two being all lovey and weird, but can we wake up Yana and get moving now? That thing Mom killed in the tunnel is starting to stink."

  Day 35, part 2

  We're resting near a natural fountain in a cavern full of columns that were created when stalactites and stalagmites merged. This is a good place. There are insects to eat and fresh water to refill our vessels and wash with. Look at me, thinking about eating insects like they're a fine meal of chicken stew with dumplings and spiced beans. At this point, I'll eat gladly anything that won't make me sick, as long as someone kills it for me first. I don't think I'll ever be desperate enough to eat something that's still alive.

  Daelis pushed himself too far and now he's sleeping it off with the help of the Hycinth medicine. We should have stopped an hour before we did, but he was determined to investigate the source of the bubbling water sound that echoed through the tunnels. It was a reasonable choice, considering what we found. There isn't much room to maneuver around the columns, but fresh water is a luxury that is worth hurting for.

  Shan steps away from the fountain after washing his face. He smiles as he wipes the excess moisture from his chin. "You know, sometimes it's nice being half-elven. I don't have to deal with the irritating facial hair issue on the occasions when I'm trapped underground for months without access to a razor. Tessen makes fun of me because I'll never be able to grow a beard, but I say it's a great convenience. Seems like it would be an itchy, messy problem down here."

  "Tessen's been shaving since he was thirteen," I say with a laugh. "He probably envies you for not having to waste time on it."

  "Do you think he's okay? Do you think we'll see him again?" Shan asks. He slips around the columns toward me, passing by Yana. Yana stands at the edge of the fountain and splashes her fingers in the water.

  "I think he's sad right now, but he'll be fine. And yes, we'll see him again." I put out my arm so Shan can cuddle up against my side. He lays his head on my shoulder and I kiss his brow. "I miss him, and I know you may miss him even more. You two have always been so close. You were fascinated by the movements in my belly before he was born, and then after, when Grandma brought you to meet him, I saw the love in your eyes. You were only a year old, and that love has only grown stronger in the years since. You've never fought in more than jest and your bond with him made raising the two of you alone easier."

  "He's my best friend and he probably thinks I'm dead," Shan says. His fingers weave through mine and he squeezes my hand. "We do argue sometimes, when you're not around. Doesn't matter much, though. He's my brother and I'll always lov
e him."

  "You've always been the best big brother," I say.

  "I'm glad I get another opportunity to be one. Both with Yana and the new one. I just... I just want to go home so Tessen doesn't have to wonder anymore. It was hard for both of us when you disappeared, and now we're both gone and he thinks he's alone. I mean, he has the extended family and they're great, but they're not us."

  "Shan, honey, we're going to see him again. Soon. I know it."

  "What do you think he'll think about us bringing home these strays?" Shan asks, nodding toward Yana and Daelis.

  "I don't think he'll care, as long as he has his big brother back," I say. I remember Tessen's intense jealousy when Alon was born. Hopefully that doesn't repeat itself. "He'll get used to everything else."

  Yana leaves the fountain and tucks herself into Shan's arms. She smiles at me and says, "This is good place, healing place. Sprites dance here sometimes. Good place to rest. Nap now?"

  "Yes, a nap would be good." I don't think we've been awake for more than a couple hours, but I'm tired. Daelis's rescue must have worn me out even more than I realized. I'm just going to lie down next to him and let the bubbling water lull me to sleep. Just for a little while. Just a light nap, a much-needed chance to rest my bruised and weary body.

  Day 35, part 3

  I woke with a red glow hovering above my face. It took a moment for my eyes to focus and adjust enough to see what I was looking at. It was a tiny, spindly, scarlet person-shaped body with beating wings, surrounded by star-like dust and a shimmering luminescence. The creature was no bigger than my thumb. I looked beyond it to see others scattered about the cavern. Two dozen, maybe more.